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Lefthanders Club Of Ireland -
Established 1992.
ENJOY INTERNATIONAL LEFT HANDERS
DAY
Special Price Reductions
Refresh your
screen (Press key F5) to get latest prices
Mail Order List –Special Deals
Cheques and Postal Orders ACCEPTED. Our Prices are in
EURO currency
ALL THESE ITEMS ARE DESIGNED FOR LEFTHANDERS.
PRICES VALID FOR 2009
|
CODE |
QTY |
DESCRIPTION |
NEW
PRICE € |
|
10 |
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NEW ADULTS 8"GENERAL PURPOSE SCISSORS |
7.50 |
|
14 |
|
NEW CHILDS 5.25" PRE SCHOOL SCISSORS |
3.50 |
|
16 |
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NEW - Pens Stabilo S-Move Easy Blue/Blue+ 3 refills |
10.00 |
|
17 |
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Set of 3 Refills incl nibs |
2.00 |
|
20 |
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NEW BUTTERFLYCAN OPENER |
3.00 |
|
24 |
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NEW LANCASHIRE
VEGETABLE PEELER |
3.00 |
|
30 |
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NEW PENCIL GRIP |
2.00 |
|
34 |
|
NEW Left hand Clear Ruler 15cm / 6" -
LeftHand Rule |
1.50 |
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Make a note of the item codes that
you want to order |
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PAYMENT METHOD: EU CHEQUE OR EU PO |
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GS writes “LEFTIES HAVE
RIGHTS, TOO!”
I happen to be one of those
individuals that are left-handed. Oh yes, I know, we are the minority,
but have you noticed how our language takes note of this physical difference?
For example, you say I am
left-handed but you know that statement also includes my arm, which is attached
to my hand? I am left-handed and left-armed. The language experts
would say I’m an LEFARM. Yeah, that’s RIGHT. Oh, that RIGHT word
again.
WAIT! You see what I just said
above? I said, “that’s right.” Get it?
RIGHT! Why do they
say, “that is right?” Why not say that is LEFT
even when you mean that is RIGHT? RIGHT?
RIGHT!
They call us SOUTHPAWS.
What does that mean? Is there something strange, weird, odd, unbalanced,
etc., when something is “SOUTH?” I guess the people in North Dakota are more
normal than those in South Dakota. Those poor people in South Carolina,
they’re just not RIGHT.
Oops, there is that “RIGHT” word
again. Of course, those individuals born south of the Mason-Dixon Line must
be strange.
OR . . . are they?
Psychologists have written many
articles about handedness. Some have attempted to change lefthanders from
a lovable klutz to a doomed race. Some have argued for a variety of
reasons, ranging from less immunity to disease to a higher accident rate,
lefties didn’t live as long as righties.
There are those that claim there
is evidence that left-handedness are caused by minor brain damage at
birth. As a result, lefties are clumsier if perhaps also more creative.
Some medical literature report
lefties have a higher accident rate, are more likely to have their fingers
amputated due to power-tool accidents, suffer more write fractures, etc.
They also claim lefties suffer a higher incidence of allergies, epilepsy, schizophrenia,
and certain learning disabilities.
Other studies show lefties with
an unusually high frequency of depression, drug abuse, bed-wetting, attempted
suicide, lower-than-normal birth weight, sleeping disorders, and autoimmune
diseases.
Since I am left-handed and 71, I
question all these study, report, etc.
However, I must admit, as a
lefthander, you do begin to think, “Am I really differently?” Read on,
friends.
I came home from work the other
night and my wife said we are going to have LEFTOVERS for supper tonight.
Well . . . now I’m wondering, what is the difference between LEFTOVERS and
RIGHT-OVERS?
Of course, you never hear anyone
say we are going to have RIGHT-OVERS for supper tonight. WHY? If
LEFTOVERS is something that is edible a day or two after it was cooked, then I
can only assume that RIGHT-OVERS must be consumed the day it was cooked.
However, you never hear my wife say, “tonight we are
going to have RIGHT-OVERS. UMMMMMMMMMM, GOOD!
I have heard the so-called
sports experts say lefthanders have a better natural curve when throwing a
baseball. However, they always follow this statement by stating the
lefthander may have a natural curve, but he never knows where the ball is
going.
Even court procedures favor
right-handers. If you go to court and must testify, they swear you in by
instructing you to raise your RIGHT arm/hand. At certain other functions,
such as swearing in the President of the United States, the individual is
instructed to place their LEFT hand on the bible and raise their RIGHT
hand. Well, as far as I’m concerned, that tells the story. WHICH
HAND IS ON THE BIBLE?
THE LEFT. (CASE CLOSED).
Can you tell me the difference
when one says, “it’s right on target?” If I say,
“it’s left on target,” does that mean it is off the
target or just left of the target?
I heard someone say, “Oh, he
just left.” Why not say, “Oh, he just right?” I guess if he just
right, then that would mean he did not leave.
(Or left). Just recently there was a headline in a newspaper
that read:
“BOY LEFT ON SCHOOL BUS.”
You never see a headline read:
“BOY RIGHT ON SCHOOL BUS.”
I guess if he RIGHT on the school bus then he must not be on the school bus,
even though he is RIGHT.
RIGHT? Kinda makes you wonder,
doesn’t it?
Why when something is correct it
is right and when it is incorrect it is wrong? Even here they left (that
left word again) us out. Why not say when something is wrong just say it
is left? I heard some Lyric’s to a song. It said, “RIGHT IS RIGHT
AND LEFT IS WRONG.” Oh really?
I think the Lyrics should be
RIGHT IS RIGHT and WRONG JUST LEFT.
Was Henry Ford wrong (or left)
when he put the driver’s side of his model T Ford on the left (wrong)
side? Hmmm, interesting. The aircraft
commander of large aircraft sits in the LEFT seat.
Did you know the LEFT side of
the brain controls the RIGHT side of the body? Conversely, the RIGHT side
of the brain controls the LEFT side of the body. Does that mean LEFT-HANDED
people are controlled by the R I G H T side of the brain? Think about
that!
We all know the heart is on the
left side of the body, or, at least that applies to most of the human
specie. One must wonder why God selected the most important organ (heart)
of the human body to be placed on the LEFT side of the body. But, here
again, they (whomever they are) insist the RIGHT hand be placed over the heart
when paying respect to the flag. Wonder who started this, Napoleon?
They say “RIGHT SIDE UP.”
Well, I guess if someone said “LEFT SIDE UP” that means the RIGHT side is
down? What if you wanted it down? Then would it be right or left?
When I entered the military
service, they ordered me to salute the Officers with my right hand.
Why? I wanted to salute with my left hand. Who started this
saluting with the right hand in the first place? Someone said it was
Napoleon, but what does he know? He’s dead!
When we marched and approached
the reviewing stand, we received orders; “EYES RIGHT.” Why not “EYES
LEFT?” But, I guess if they had “EYES LEFT” that would mean the eyes took
off and are no longer in the immediate area. We could not tolerate
this situation, could we?
Greetings between two
individuals usually begin by shaking hands, RIGHT HANDS. Who started
this? Was it Napoleon?
Why are scissors made only for
right-handed individuals? Let’s make them so they will be compatible for
both left and right-handed folks. I bought a B-B gun; the handle grip was
molded for right-handed individuals. I wrote the company a letter, got no
response. I bet these people were friends of Napoleon.
A co-worker told me I placed the
data sheet on a clipboard wrong (or should I say left?). The same person
stated I closed a pad lock “left-handed.” He said I should close it
“right-handed” because everyone else here was “right-handed.” I asked him
if all employees here had large ears does that mean I must have large ears?
Do you know when I purchase a baseball
glove I must pay more for it then same type of right-handed glove? Because it happens to be left-handed. I asked the salesman
why do they charge more for the left-handed gloves?
He said they do not manufacture as many even though they use same amounts of
material. That’s interesting! So, if they make a glove for a
nonexistent hand, the price would be prohibitive?
Try buying left-handed golf clubs, now that will cost you a bundle.
Oh well, I guess we should
consider ourselves fortunate, so far they have not forced us to buy left-handed
basketballs.
Do you realize all playing
positions on a baseball team are not available to lefthanders? Let me
walk out on the field and tell the coach I want to play third, shortstop or
second-base - he will tell me I’m not qualified, I’m LEFT-HANDED. How
many catchers do you know that were left-handed? So, out of nine
positions we qualify for only five. Forty-four point 4 percent of the
team is selected before we arrive at the ballparks. Coincidentally, all
right-handers qualify for all positions. I say strike three. You’re
ALL out!
How many left-handed guitars are
available to us “Southpawlers?” Oh, do not mind that
- just play the right-handed guitars, not that much difference.
SURE! Of course, the same applies to other musical equipment, pianos,
fiddles, etc. I think these individuals are all “OUT OF TUNE.” Oh
well, someone has to carry the gear.
When I was in the first grade,
the teacher instructed all students to write with their paper at a specified
angle. The only problem, she did not
ask if there were lefthanders in the class. I
followed instructions, that
is, tilting the top part of the paper to the left. I
had no problems with this until the third grade. It was then the third grade teacher
instructed me to tilt the top part of the paper to the right. She said
this is the proper way for lefthanders, and, she ordered me to obey her
instructions. This was quite confusing because my handwriting had been
acceptable, why change? Fortunately, she did not pursue the point and I
continued with the paper tilted to the left, as I do today.
There were nine individuals in
our family. When eighteen arms/hands with nine hungry mouths circled the dinner
table, you do not want to waste time arguing about individual positions.
Incidentally, the above table count did not include our dogs and cats. No
one wanted to sit next to me because my left hand/arm would bump into his or
her right hand/arm.
To resolve the problem, they
position me on one of the corners. I still like corners.
Have you ever experienced a
right-handed person teaching a left-handed person how to tie shoestrings or
neckties? I recall, as a youngster, someone was teaching me to put the
correct shoe on the correct foot.
I took the left shoe, put it on my left foot and the individual said, “very
good, you put it on the RIGHT foot. SAY WHAT?
Individuals have taken tools out
of my hand while working on a project. Know why? They said I make
them nervous using my left hand; it looks so odd and they feel I really do not
know how to do the job. When working on a project I disliked, the
left-hand became my starring character. At times, I thought it should
have received an “Oscar.”
This problem even extends to my
marriage. Do you know my wife has a RIGHT-HAND kitchen? Everything
in the kitchen conforms to a right-handed configuration. The only way I
feel comfortable in the kitchen is to back in when entering.
One of these
days (when I’m not too busy), I plan to design items specifically for
left-handed souls. For
example, I’m thinking about inventing a left-handed coffee cup. What
about a left-handed ball cap?
Or, left-handed ballpoint pens,
left-sided pillows, left-handed commodes, left-handed dishes, left-handed
doorknobs, etc. Obviously, left-handed coat hangers will be on the list (I could go on but will spare you the pain.)
I bet there are some left-handed
monkeys swinging from tree to tree in the jungle. How about birds?
Surely there are those with left-handed wings. I even observed a pine
tree that had limbs only on the left side.
Incidentally, a thorough
scientific study has determined ALL polar bears are left-handed, or, maybe we
should say left-pawed.
And, as the theory goes, LEFT is
EVIL, (sinistral). Does that mean RIGHT
(dextral) is not evil? For whatever it means,
EVIL written backwards is LIVE.
George Bush and William Clinton
are left-handed. I concur. It was not wise to place this
paragraph in this article. In fact, five of the last 10 Presidents were
left-handed. We may be the accidents prone, but, we ARE leaders.
Since we are talking about
politicians, what about our BILL OF RIGHTS, the first 10 amendments to the
United States of America Constitution? I say, let’s have a BILL OF
LEFTS. The Bill of Rights was written to safeguard fundamental rights
against usurpation of the federal government and, prohibiting interference with
existing rights.
We are fortunate our Forefathers
had the insight to write a document, which protected individual rights.
However, I must ask again, what about a “Bill of Lefts?”
So . . . for the benefit of all
the left-handed individuals here on mother-earth and father-mars, I propose the
following:
1) Free to salute with either
hand from noon ‘til midnight.
2) Free to place the left hand
over the heart while paying respects to our flag.
3) Free to suck your left thumb
from noon to midnight.
4) Right-handed citizens cannot
call you LEFTY, SOUTHPAW,
WEIRDO, FREAK, SPACE CADET, CLUMSY, ETC.
5) Free to shake hands with the
left hand from noon ‘til midnight.
6) Scissors must be manufactured
for either hand. All right-handed
manufactured tools must contain a left-hand modification
kit.
7) A rule preventing players on
baseball teams from wearing a glove and
a rule allowing left-handed pitchers to hit at least three
players during a game.
8) Authority to change all
plumbing systems. We want that darn hot
water control on the RIGHT side. You would be
surprised how many
lefthanders have been sizzled by that left control. We
want ALL
controls changed. Example: To start the water flow you
must rotate
the control clockwise. (That should get a few of
them).
9) Authority to reconfigure the
entire transportation system to satisfy
left-handed requirements. Example: All highways
redesigned to make the left lane the primary lane.
All signs
must point to the left and, certainly, no right turns would be allowed.
10) All sport games must be
designed for clockwise movement.
For example: In baseball the first base will be moved to third base
and third base to first base. All auto race tracks,
horse-racing tracks,
ice racing events, running tracks, etc must be configured
for clockwise movement.
This concludes the proposed Bill
of Lefts. If any lefthanders have a suggestion, please advise.
Lefthanders do have occasions
where it is advantageous to be left-handed. When I was in high school, I had
a job washing dishes in a local restaurant. The owner, Harry Schirrmann, purchased a new modern, automatic
dishwasher. Harry was extremely proud of his new dishwasher. He
would spend several hours operating the unit and invite his friends to observe
his expertise in latest dishwashing technology. I must confess, I, too, was impressed with the unit. The system
included a salvage jar and a 25-gallon device with garbage filters. A
waterspout on one side of the salvage jar would wash away the uneaten food.
Fresh hot/cold water was controlled per the operator’s choice. The
plates, cups and silverware were loaded into trays. The trays were moved
into the dishwasher for complete washing and drying.
What was unique about the
dishwasher, at least from my point of view, the design was perfect for a
left-handed person. Harry took pride in how quickly he could wash
dishes. He would count the items to determine how many he could wash in
one hour. One day I noticed he was observing me for a lengthy period of
time. Finally, he told me he was watching me wash dishes and could not
understand how I washed dishes quicker than anyone else, including Harry.
Few days later, I heard him say, “I know, I know.” He told me I was
faster because it was a LEFT-HANDED dishwasher.
This left-handed subject is
recorded in the Bible. Refer to the King James Bible, JUDGES, Chapter 20,
Verse 16: “Among all these people there were
seven-hundred chosen men, left-handed, everyone could sling stones at a hair
BREADTH, and not miss.”
Now, friends, if you think I
have traveled through life (71 years) possessed born and reared left-handed, do
not despair. Far from it! In
reality I have not been mistreated, neglected, picked-on, etc.,
because I’m left-handed. Nor have I considered being different or
deprived of the privileges given to others. The important consideration
is having two arms/hands that are healthy - PERIOD!
There is no problem. I am
just trying out my new computer and this was the subject I selected.
However, if you read this, you have a problem. All of the above is
written backwards, or is that . . .
S D R A W K
C A B? Signed . . . LEFTY..or.SMELLY
Did you know that Prince William
the future King of England is LEFT-HANDED.
Using the Internet initially seemed
awesome. The whole idea of somehow linking into other people's computers, and being able to have conversations with
other people using the computer keyboard was almost beyond my comprehension.
But, then again I thought all I can do is at worst try my best and at best get
something out of this thing they call "surfing the net".
Like any computer fad, there is always the
gimmick. Like contacting the White House, leaving a message for a fellow
Left-handed President and before you know it the White House Internet server
has replied to you with a ‘personal’ message from the President of the United
States.
You can also browse around the White House
‘home pages’ these pages will give you details of the White House and the
President. You can also hear the President speak if your computer has a ‘sound
card’.
Both the US main parties Democrats and
Republicans have ‘home pages’ on the Internet. On these pages you can read what
details the parties want to pass on to you and you can leave messages for the
parties or its officials.
Although Brian Cowan, Bertie
Ahern and Prionsias De Rossa
are Left-handers we see no mention of their Left Handedness on their respective
Political sites.
We look forward to seeing how this brave
new world will unfold; it really is in its infancy. More and more organisations, and individuals are ‘hooking-up’ to the
Internet. From what we can see lefties are not disadvantaged when using a
computer or the Internet.
Newt Gingrich, Republican Congress has
said that we are in danger of creating a new social underclass of computer
illiterates
SCHOOL TIPS
You Can Make You Life Easier!
Don't be Left Out.
Have you ever had trouble cutting out with
the wrong scissors? Do you know the frustration of writing with a right-handed
fountain pen that digs into the paper and gives you no ink flow? There are
hundreds of little irritations that you really should not have to suffer. If
you have left-handed children, you will know that these problems are greatly
magnified, as they have to deal with them at the same time that they are trying
to learn basic skills and build confidence. All Things Left-Handed and The Left Handers Club of Ireland
do understand the frustrations facing left-handers and the solutions available
to-day. We have developed our range of left-handed implements and utensils
based on many years of practical experience. We only supply products that have
been tried and tested by left-handers for left-handers. We hope that these
items will give you the real practical benefits that we have found for ourselves as well as making you feel a little bit more
special about yourself.
You can try any of the items for yourself
with complete confidence - we know that you will get real benefits from using
them and if, for any reason whatever, you do not feel the same once you have
tried them, we
guarantee to give you a full refund - what more can we say?
If you would like to be able to cut,
slice, serve, open, snip, write, or measure and the many other things in just
the way you want to, you are in for a real treat. Have a good look at all of
the information in the Special Offers section and then fill in the things that
you feel you could most benefit from on the order form enclosed.
For those of you who have sent left-handed
children out to school before, you big challenge is over. You know as long as
you stock up on scissors non-smear pens and pencils your child’s school days
will more than likely be just fine.
SLÁN
©1997 - 2009 Joe
O’Connor
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